i turn on my tv (a rare act), one channel had a 750 pound guy who couldn’t get out of bed and the other had someone battling some addition. first of all, why are we watching this? WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?

why are rich people always so messed up and unhappy?

my mom is the best

life is beautiful- HEY HALLMARK!
but really, it is.

in life where your friend’s weird, insecure friend un-friends you on facebook after a falling out.

i was actually annoyed looking at your weird country statuses and ugly pictures anyway. so, i left you in the deep clean trying to rise above. but, thanks for taking care of business.

lol forever

FLOWERS ISN’T A SURPRISE ON VALENTINE’S DAY, UNLESS YOU’RE AN IDIOT. (maybe i was over estimating 67% of my facebook friends’ intelligence)

your boyfriend has to buy you flowers. he has to get you a nice gift. he has to pretend to care for one day. that couple that stayed in watching zombie movies with pizza- here’s to you.

in one hour, we can all go back to our regular program, half-hearted relationships.

i’m not actually bitter and i’ll give you 3 reasons why

1. i had salsa and avocado in my breakfast

2. i’m a flower snob

3. i don’t even like chocolate (but really, i don’t)

one day when i have a valentine i just want him to wake up, put a flower around my dogs neck and tell me he really loves me. then hand me a custom claw ring with real diamonds…. i’m not planning on having this boyfriend any time soon. i’m not sure there’s someone else who thinks claw rings are a good investment, but here’s hoping.

save your kors, your flower delivery at work of the ugliest flowers that were way too much money, your build a bears, your walgreen’s chocolates, your text messages filled with “baby you just get me to many years laughing together xoxo”, and just be there for me 365 days a year. and if you MUST buy me a gift, it better be something worthwhile. not something you bought because halmark made you feel like you should.

not to sound dumb, but i’m proud to be my own valentine this year. because i’m so unbelievably proud for everything i’ve done and been through and how much i’ve grown in the last couple years. sure, i could lose more weight, or i could have gotten a real job, or i could have skipped a couple purchases but i’m happy. and it’s not because i have anyone else or because things are going x, y, and z. it’s just because i wake up everyday and choose to be happy for the way things are going. whether it’s laughing in the middle of target at penguin sleds or sitting in the pump room blessed to even be there.

i’ve come so far in 5 years. so i’m gonna put on some red lipstick, buy myself a coffee, and sell some things businessmen don’t need.

first of all, JUST ANSWER. JUST ANSWER JUST ANSWER JUST ANSWER JUST ANSWER

it’s february and i’m over it.

OH i should be strong… like, for YOU?

you know what.
next february, i’m running away to aruba and never coming back.

terrible.